


Not Such a Virgin

by reeby10



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, International Fanworks Day 2019, M/M, Relationship Reveal, Secret Relationship, Virginity, but not really on purpose, discussions of virgin sacrifice, only maybe not, the pack is a little slow on the uptake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-27 20:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17773862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reeby10/pseuds/reeby10
Summary: "A virgin?” Erica asked, perking up. She looked over at Stiles, a sly grin on her face. “Oh good, Stilinski, it's finally your turn to be useful."





	Not Such a Virgin

**Author's Note:**

> Happy International Fanworks Day!! I wrote almost all of the dialogue for this in March 2016 just to get it out of my head, and I never made it around to fleshing it out into a full fic until now. But I'm glad I did bc I kind of love it :D
> 
> Thanks to Biff for the beta!

There was a threat, because there was always a threat in Beacon Hills. They were never ending, it seemed, even with a werewolf pack to protect the town. But this time, the solution to defeat the threat was a bit… stranger than their usual go-in-claws-blazing method.

"A virgin?” Erica asked, perking up. She looked over at Stiles, a sly grin on her face. “Oh good, Stilinski, it's finally your turn to be useful."

Stiles couldn’t hold back a snort of laughter at that. "Yeah, sorry, that's not going to work."

"Of course it is. It doesn't specify a gender, so you'll have to do in a pinch,” Jackson said, looking far too pleased with this idea. He never could give up a chance to mock Stiles for anything. “You should be happy your pathetic virginity will finally come in handy!"

Isaac and Boyd were nodding, apparently sold on the idea as well, while Lydia didn’t even seem like she was paying attention to anything other than her cuticles. It was very possible she wasn’t. Scott, terrible friend that he was, looked like he agreed but didn’t want to say anything.

Stiles stared at them incredulously while Derek studiously looked off into the distance. He glanced over at Derek, then shook his head in disgust. "You guys are terrible werewolves."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Jackson growled. He stepped into Stiles’ space, trying to intimidate him, but he didn’t seem to realize that that hadn’t worked for over a year.

"We were waiting to see who could figure it out first, but I didn't think you'd all suck so much,” Stiles said with a smirk. The others looked at him, apparently confused, and he laughed. “First off, it’s been months and literally none of you have noticed. This is just sad."

That finally caught Lydia’s attention and she looked at him, narrowing her eyes. "Noticed what?"

Stiles stared pointedly and didn’t say a word.

"Are you trying to say you're not a virgin?" Isaac burst out. Well, he wasn’t the one Stiles would have bet on to figure it out first, but there they were.

"Bingo!” Stiles exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. “At least one of you has half a brain. But only half, because you guys are really slow on the uptake."

"But who?" Scott asked, looking more like a sad, confused puppy than ever. Stiles kind of wanted to go over and pat him consolingly on the head, but that would defeat the purpose. He had to learn not to be so oblivious, and at least this was a situation that wouldn’t literally kill him.

"Why don't you try using like your werewolf super powers?" Stiles asked, looking as innocent as he could possibly manage despite the — perfectly reasonable, in his opinion — tone of mocking in his voice.

"So you smell like them right now?" Jackson asked, a dangerous glint in his eyes as he stalked closer to him. He pressed his face uncomfortably close to Stiles’ neck and took a deep sniff, then stepped back with a frown. "But all you smell like is pack!"

They were all so dumb, bless them, but Stiles would never tell them how amused that made him. He grinned meanly. "You guys are so slow, it's really embarrassing."

"Derek do you- Derek?"

Derek finally looked over at them at Erica’s call. He looked constipated as usual, but Stiles could tell he was secretly amused. It was a very fine line, but Derek walked it well. And often.

"What?" he asked gruffly.

"You don't believe Stilinski is telling the _truth_ about not being a virgin, do you?" she asked, hands on her hips

Derek raised his rather impressive eyebrows. "Uh, yeah, I do."

There was an uproar for a moment as everyone in the pack started talking at once. It probably would have gone on longer if Derek hadn’t whistled, bringing them up short. He looked around at them, unimpressed.

"What the fuck,” Jackson said, obviously at a loss. It was a good look on him, in Stiles’ humble opinion. “Do you know something the rest of us don't?"

"That's one way to put it," Derek said, and there was definitely laughter hiding in his words. Stiles figured he was the only one to notice, and that made him smile.

"What does that even _mean_?” Erica groaned. She was definitely pouting now. “Can you smell something we can't?"

"Probably, but that's not really the issue right now," Derek replied. He crossed his arms over his chest, looking around at them with eyebrows raised, waiting. It was a method he liked to employ a lot when the pack was being especially dense. Like now.

Erica made a frustrated sound, and Stiles could see her flexing her claws in agitation. "Not really- so did you _see_ something we didn't?"

Stiles grinned even wider, because hell yeah, Derek had seen something they didn’t. "That’s one way to put it," he said, knowing how smug he sounded. He figured it was deserved, honestly.

They all looked even more confused at that until Scott's face, which had been the most confused of all of theirs until then, suddenly morphed into a look of realization, then disgust. "Stiles, did you have sex with Derek?"

"And he shoots, he scores!” Stiles exclaimed, holding his hand up for a high five, which Scott grudgingly returned. “Finally.'”

The others just stared between Derek and Stiles, mouths open. Stiles thought their brains might have broken permanently. Except for Lydia, of course, who just rolled her eyes and returned to examining her nails.

“So what’s the new plan, since sacrificing Stiles’ virginity is off the table?” she asked dryly.

That was apparently all it took to snap the others out of their daze, because they all started shouting again. Stiles just smiled and walked over to lean against Derek, who wrapped his arm securely around his waist. Their distress, quite honestly, was music to his ears.


End file.
